We are really getting into, and onto, sculpture, here on Mars, and we hope you like it very much. Otherwise, well, like it anyway, there’s nothing to dislike, really, about modern sculpture. After all, who knows anything about it or why it even exists except to make us all feel calm and happy after a long, hard day at the solar-face (which is gradually replacing the coal-face, though you will work no less hardly, harder, hard, like very squashed coal). There are diamonds here somewhere.
Since time immemorial (whatever that means), we have all searched for comfort. The humble couch is the answer, as we all know, or should. So next time you need a break, get the chocolate, the chocolate tuna, and the other tasty TV treats and don’t bench yourself, couch yourself, in glowing terms as well. Enjoy, and you’re welcome.
It’s true that it’s quite difficult to get lost on Mars. After all, Mars is only a bit more than half the size of Earth, there are no oceans to sail, and its mass (whatever that is, hahahahah) is almost 10 times less than Earth’s’s’s’s (and made of tuna – no, really!!). Getting around is a much lighter affair on Mars, too, and we all make merry lollygagging around leaping to and fro, and so on, and etcetera – you know the krill, sorry, drill.
If only there was a Le Meow Sushi Bar here on Mars. We are lobbying as I write, but the vagaries of Martian retail business tend to elude me. Also, I have my sushi flown in from the Lynx constellation, though it pays to order early.
You know when you just don’t know what you feel like for lunch? Sometimes you feel like a movie star, sometimes you feel like a baker, or even a truck driver. Ignore those feelings and get into bread, bread with anything on it at all. Okay, not yucky things like – well, I won’t say because I don’t want to insult the gourmands among you who may like those yucky things. Go ahead, buy a baguette and go wild.
While 9 out of 10 cats prefer to stay out of the way when centaurs are stomping around (innocent tails and all that), the other 14 have no issues with them at all. In fact, felines and centaurs tend to group together to gossip about the latest social media mythological trends over lattes and ceviche at every opportunity. Prove me wrong, go on.