Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – Gears, and Sherry

Here on Mars there isn’t a lot of call for gears – the dust tends to gum them up, but gear sculptures, now there’s a lovely thing. Also, we like our sundowners, although we tend to have them indoors away from the dust and redness, and things that make us testy, like the temperature (too hot, and too cold, really, for a koala bear, let alone a feline bear). Other than that, cheers, friends, and bottoms up, for Cissy Fwoppingham-Smythe is already breathless for her next flagon.

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Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – What’s in a Name, a Couch, that’s what.

Since time immemorial (whatever that means), we have all searched for comfort. The humble couch is the answer, as we all know, or should. So next time you need a break, get the chocolate, the chocolate tuna, and the other tasty TV treats and don’t bench yourself, couch yourself, in glowing terms as well. Enjoy, and you’re welcome.

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – Help Desks Deserve Help, Too

If you need help, ask for it. You’ll be surprised who might step forward with wonderful suggestions about 50 ways with tuna, for example, and so on. Do try it, it can be a lovely experience. Just don’t ring this help desk, well, not today, anyway.

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – We’re All Out of Helps, but …

You know when you just don’t know what you feel like for lunch? Sometimes you feel like a movie star, sometimes you feel like a baker, or even a truck driver. Ignore those feelings and get into bread, bread with anything on it at all. Okay, not yucky things like – well, I won’t say because I don’t want to insult the gourmands among you who may like those yucky things. Go ahead, buy a baguette and go wild.

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – Cheesecake, Burden or Bonus?

Despite the headline up there, we all know that the humble yet fabulous cheesecake, could never be a burden, not even on your hips. Well, perhaps on your hips, but be selective, slice it thin like an after dinner mint (think how many thin slices you could have before you reach even an approximation of a full serving, think and feel all fluttery and happy).

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – Would You Like A Second Helping?

It’s all very well to say restraint is the new black, or red, or whatever, but you and I both know that a lovely second helping of helpful tuna cheesecake never hurt anybody. Dig in, dudes and friends.

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – Have You Tried Self-Help?

Imagine how many millions, perhaps billions, of self-help texts there must be in the world. No, do not do that, you will become extremely depressed and need a self-help text to help you, which it won’t, obviously. I mean, look at the state of the world. So, why not move to Mars and read poetry instead? You know you want to.