Category Archives: Workplaces

Last Cat On Mars Presents: A New Career Path – Easy Peasy or in Need of a Little Gravy

It is almost a certainty that former hired assassins have limited knowledge of appropriate titles. On the other hand, I, for one, am not going to tell Maxwell Magillicuddy that he should, indeed, second-guess ‘Kebab Your Lamb and Other Stabby Recipes’ now that he’s turned his attention to, let us say, other victims. If he could stomach a dose of vegetarianism, ‘Coleslaw Your Carrot and Other Grating Recipes’ sounds so much less threatening, don’t you agree (unless you’re a carrot, or the friend or relative of a carrot – apologies to all long, orange vegies)?

Max, the former hired assassin, becomes a celebrity chef

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Last Cat On Mars Presents: Why Have Meetings ? (or An Ex-ex-public servant takes the mickey)

Dr On Mars enjoyed a long career (an uncontrollable lurch downhill, as we in the trade like to call it) in public service before she left for the calmer and altogether redder climes of Mars. To celebrate the something-or-other anniversary of her escape, aka near-death experience, here’s a memory for you. (Former public servants, and meeting attendees of any stripe, please note well and save yourselves before you cross the threshold into a space from which there is no liberation).

The longest meeting in the world with a long-winded member and many skeletons

 

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Day Everyone Thought The Water Cooler was The Fountain of Youth

What can it be about water coolers that attracts people, I wonder? Perhaps it’s the cool, blue water (blue?). Perhaps it’s the loveliness of a refreshing cold drink in summer. Perhaps it’s just the irresistible tuna flavour. Whatever it is, I’m queuing up for my turn, and if I learn to conga, samba, salsa, tango on the way, then so be it – I’ll be a fandangoing feline and proud of it.

Last Cat On Mars and the Water Cooler of Youth

Last Cat On Mars Presents: A Delicate Moment

Who doesn’t love a zombie? No, really, who? I try not to watch The Walking Dead but it’s like a train wreck, I cannot look away despite the nightmares and an overwhelming desire to nail the doors and windows shut and enrol in the Katanas for Fun, Pleasure and Self-Defence course at the Martian Club. So anyhoo, tuna brains – anyone tried them lately. No, me neither. Let’s all go out for beer and crackers and some crunchy cheese toast afterwards. Love, Last & All Zombie Associates xox

A zombie walks into a bar