It’s all very well to say restraint is the new black, or red, or whatever, but you and I both know that a lovely second helping of helpful tuna cheesecake never hurt anybody. Dig in, dudes and friends.
My only advice is this: don’t invest in standing stones, there’s no future in them, but a hell of a past, that’s for sure. Also, ensure that you contribute to your Super fund however you can. As you age, and even those of us with nine lives, or more, do age, eventually, you will appreciate the windfall that’s coming your way as you slide into decrepitude like most of the standing stones.
In addition, standing stones are fun to read about as they embody the mysteries of human (crazy species) attempts to understand the mysterious, the thin places where dimension collides with dimension. Of course, here on Mars, there are lots of thin places due to the very light gravity compared with Earth (about 38% of the third rock’s). So, if you want to lose weight all of a sudden, come and visit with us anytime (anytime you can hail a passing rocket, that is, ahahahahahah).
Fun fact: Did you know that Superman’s most famous but little quoted quotation is: ‘Cape me, Robin, and be quick about it.’ It is important to note, however, that Superman uttered this gem when he was in a delusional state due to over-consumption of Superglue (he thought it was a treat made especially for him), believing himself to be that other famous capester, Batman.
Other than that, we’re with our caped friend in the comic: we just love capes. They are particularly useful here on Mars when the north-east-south-west wind blows a gale, which it does quite often, bloody thing.
Too soon to revisit Selfieville and its strange inhabitants wherever they may find themselves? I think not. And the sooner little Brutus realises that, like Hermia in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, he may be little but he’s totes fierce, the sooner he can flee that rather gorgeous flytrap of an island and get his own Dogagram account.
Unless, of course, his human frenemy, Tasty McMeatus is about to become his very closest chum, if you know what I mean.
Here on Mars, there’s little space for large kitchens, but the space we have we dedicate to delicacies close to the hearts of all self-respecting Martians: tuna toast, tuna pie, tuna salad, tuna bake (very hot this close to the Sun), tuna fritters, tuna pizza, and so on, and occasionally, a lovely side of totally, totally Martian red Truss tomatoes with deep-fried tuna steaks. Bon appetunatit!!!