Monthly Archives: August 2018

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – We’re All Out of Helps, but …

You know when you just don’t know what you feel like for lunch? Sometimes you feel like a movie star, sometimes you feel like a baker, or even a truck driver. Ignore those feelings and get into bread, bread with anything on it at all. Okay, not yucky things like – well, I won’t say because I don’t want to insult the gourmands among you who may like those yucky things. Go ahead, buy a baguette and go wild.

The Help Desk clerk advises that they're all out of helps but he has some tasty baguettes with cheese and tuna available.

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Last Cat On Mars Presents: Your Mobile Psycatrist #4 – Centaurs are People, Too, Half the Time

While 9 out of 10 cats prefer to stay out of the way when centaurs are stomping around (innocent tails and all that), the other 14 have no issues with them at all. In fact, felines and centaurs tend to group together to gossip about the latest social media mythological trends over lattes and ceviche at every opportunity. Prove me wrong, go on.

A centaur with Dr On Mars lamenting that he feels like two different species

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – Cheesecake, Burden or Bonus?

Despite the headline up there, we all know that the humble yet fabulous cheesecake, could never be a burden, not even on your hips. Well, perhaps on your hips, but be selective, slice it thin like an after dinner mint (think how many thin slices you could have before you reach even an approximation of a full serving, think and feel all fluttery and happy).

The Help Desk chef recommends cheesecake, it's the help food of a nation.

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Size is in the Aye of the Beholder

Yes, friends, you’ve guessed that I have a soft spot for the game of Chess, though I do not play it very well, or at all, really. I have issues with strategic planning involving war-like games, but that by no means diminishes the tomfoolery and malarkey one can enjoy with happy japes about the various representations of pieces and their predilections. Jeez, that was exhausting, I’m off to play a round of draughts/checkers with the nearest nerdy Martian.

Chess players on an oversized chess board discussing whether or not the pieces will shrink

Last Cat On Mars Presents: A Lazy Sunday in Egypt and Yorkshire

Sitting here on Mars on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I thought of a few things, and, well, here you go lovers of Ancient Egypt and Barbara Hepworth. Also tuna.

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Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – Would You Like A Second Helping?

It’s all very well to say restraint is the new black, or red, or whatever, but you and I both know that a lovely second helping of helpful tuna cheesecake never hurt anybody. Dig in, dudes and friends.

With a large cake on the Help Desk, the clerk suggests a second helping, it's a day ending in 'y' after all.