The Moai are one of my favourite mysteries of the world – if only we had some here on Mars – or maybe we do – cue thrilling music with a little vibrato. Well, I suppose there’s a lot of information about them, and mystery may be stretching it a little. But one has to wonder why the esteemed sculptors kept making the great big heads when all around them was going to hell, not to mention treeless, foodless, and tuna-less. Ordering pizza was not an option.
On the plus side, we still have nearly 900 of the gigantic beauties to ponder over and admire. They’re monoliths, you know, and were responsible for thriving physiotherapy businesses on Rapa Nui (not a true fact, but perhaps an alternative fact – hahahahahaha).
I’ve always been a big fan of castles and, in particular, the Hollywood castles frequented by that delicious fellow from Tasmania, Mr Errol Flynn. Remember him in The Adventures of Robin Hood? Does it get any better than that? Only if you have tuna-flavoured dainties to nibble as Robin and Maid Marian (the equally lovely Olivia de Havilland who just celebrated her 100th – you read me – 100th birthday – she lives in Paris – Happy Birthday Ms de Havilland, hope the tuna cake was spankingly great) – where was I? – yes, as they ride off to their honeymoon on the Great Barrier Reef where the castles are scarce but the Longtail and Yellow fin tuna are swimmingly abundant.