Category Archives: Occasional Observations

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – Bernard & Felix: In The Wrong Vehicle?

Bernard wasn’t the sharpest pin in the cushion, though his competition, Felix the astounding black cat, was fierce and put everyone else in the shade (there’s very little shade on Mars, just by the way), including the bicycle fellow, who wore his own cappy little shade.

Bernard and Felix fleeing from a suspicious man in a robber's outfit

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Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – Beware the Chess Monkey

Monkey business – who knew they could concentrate for so long, so simianly long. I, for one, have always said that there but for the grace of an ancestral divergence, go those pesky humans. Actually, I’ve never said that, but it’s probably true in one dimension or another. Calico Pawn to Feline’s Bishop 4, check.

Monkeys playing and watching chess in the park

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – If You Can’t Count Them, Join Them Equationally

As we say here on Mars, maths: it’s all eeek! to me. By Euclid’s lid and Pythagoras’s triangular custard tart, it’s true, I say.

A mathematician in the museum of many-coloured cubes

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – Gears, and Sherry

Here on Mars there isn’t a lot of call for gears – the dust tends to gum them up, but gear sculptures, now there’s a lovely thing. Also, we like our sundowners, although we tend to have them indoors away from the dust and redness, and things that make us testy, like the temperature (too hot, and too cold, really, for a koala bear, let alone a feline bear). Other than that, cheers, friends, and bottoms up, for Cissy Fwoppingham-Smythe is already breathless for her next flagon.

A woman sitting on her veranda sipping sherry and watching her gear sculptures

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – Black Cats and Their Aloofy Aloofness

There, I’ll say it – black cats fancy themselves as superior to other cats. This is manifested in their silent aloofy aloofness. Next time you see a black cat, make friends with her or him, and who knows, you may move her or him on from ‘aloof’ to ‘benign’ or even ‘cuddlesomely noirish.’ Give him or her, or her or him a pat and a hearty invitation to your next tuna nosh-a-rama and bucket list share-a-thon. Invite me, too.

Woman checking her bucket list, literally, as a black cat looks on, aloofly.

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – Ants: Small & Annoying, Or Annoying & Small

Yes, ants are both small and annoying, and annoying and small, though somehow rather cute as well when they are not terrifying. Furthermore, they are one of the species that keep everything running on the third rock, and without them, there would be disasters such as we have not seen before. And let me tell you, here on Mars we can do without an influx of terrified terra formers as it were, it is hard enough to grow an edible patch of catnip. So, keep the ants close to your hearts, humans, and others, they are good, though annoying, yes.

PS. I would not recommend Rodney Countemfast for your tax return, although you are a grown-up (maybe you are), so make your own decision, dude.

Ants: small and annoying, or annoying and small with an accountant asked if he counts ants.