The humble homophone is responsible for more wars than you might imagine. Also, funny and endearing confusion, leading to war. Then there’s misinterpretation, leading to war. Then there are moose, funny, confusing, peacenik moose.
It wasn’t often that this disparate group of friends – no, let’s just say acquaintances – got together for an outdoor do. And on this occasion there was no-one to naysay their menu choice, especially not the nameless mime, who was so dedicated to his craft that silence was his only riposte to the terrifying prospect of himself as imminent repast.
[Note: I have been reliably informed that the scene depicted below is an example of what is known these days as Fake News. So fear not, dear friends, no mime was harmed in the construction of this doolally setup. Well, perhaps a little singed, but them’s the breaks, or the breakfasts, as it were. Mmmmm, roast, mmmmm.]
It seems like only yesterday – wait, it was only yesterday, in Martian days. That extra 39 minutes and 35 seconds simply flew by. Well, it seems like only yesterday that I, too, needed the extra heft of a meditation garden to see me through lunch. And now, here are Tim and Darren, similarly situated. I don’t think it’s a vegan garden, but I guess that’s something to chew on over the BBQ.
A quick meditation practice for all you wannabe breathabees: Count to 7 while inhaling. Hold for a few seconds short of bursting a vessel in your forehead. Exhale while counting to 7 and imagine the rainbow as you do it if you wish. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue Indigo, Violet. Yes, I get the Indigo and Violet mixed up, too, but then cats are colour-blind – what’s your excuse, cobber?
I know, but I like tiny houses of almost any kind. I’m a cat, what can I say? We love small, snuggly places that can also relocate quickly when a family of canines moves in next door.
What do you think of the tiny house revolution, friends? Want one? Envious of Peter and Daphne? Don’t worry, they’re about to find out what owning two very hungry equine types involves, especially in terms of, shall we say, clean up! Good luck with that when you don’t have a litter-box big enough – hahahaha – ha! Constant tiny house movement, that’s the ticket.
Old toys, new toys, we all love ’em all, whatever their age, whatever their state. I have a Teddy Bear – they’re named after Theodore Roosevelt, you know – who was passed down to me by my brother. Actually, to be truthful, my brother didn’t so much pass Teddy down to me as throw him out of his cot in fright. He really didn’t like the ursine furball. But I did, and do, and we are often to be seen snuggling on a cold Martian night, searching for Earth in the evening sky. Even more often, though, we are searching for that wretch of a takeaway delivery hound with our Honeyed Tuna Melt Bites.
It is also suggested that Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt said this: Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can. It will be enough. Try it out next time you are suffering in extremis and see if it helps. I think it will, friends and grasshoppers. You can only do what you can do, Honeyed Tuna Melt Bites notwithstanding.
Yes, I know, but Smiley McSmileface is not related to Moai McMoaiface, except for the face bit, and the Scottish connection. You try coming up with names for every single person who passes your Martian door and see how you go, pal.
All right, tantrum over, let us hope with all our hearts that the future is indeed one where politicians do all those things Smiley The Deluded mentioned – hahahahahahhaha – I find myself typing hahahahahhaha more and more frequently these days – it must stop, and the tuna must flow – preferably downhill and onto my loving and receptive lips (of which I have none, or none that you can detect – the whiskers tend to get in the way). Go in peace now, and search for an honest politician – I dare you…