Tag Archives: sculpture

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – The Timeless Nature of Contemporary Sculpture

If only the curators had included a ‘Don’t Bloody Touch The Silver New Something’ sign, Claudius – a law-abiding fellow who wanted only to be told what to do every minute of every day (why else, after all, did he join the army) – would have enjoyed his accidental cultural jaunt, free of any useful thoughts at all. And don’t worry about Strawberry, the cow, Claudius is vegetarian.

Time travelling Roman gladiator discovers contemporary sculpture

Last Cat On Mars Presents: When Technology and Humans Part Ways

How about those wolves, eh? Predatory, hungry, famished really, but, you know, prepared to wait for the Wolffee Treats to be distributed as an appetizer. And you wonder why we feline types tend to avoid most cross-species friendships (especially the canine), except for the human servant variety, as you yourselves encourage, dudes and friends on the third rock. And, see, technology – always a few bicycle rotations ahead of the homo sapiens brain matter. Never mind.

A man stumbles into a wolves gathering where he will surely become the dinner special, won't he?

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – The Pointy End is Usually Sharp

My point, and I do have one, is that most felines avoid pointy things like the proverbial plague. You know, claws, fangs, those sharp bits when the toast is a little burnt – they can really lacerate the tongue and inside cheeks. Also, people who point me the wrong way to the tuna festival are the worst of all and I shall take my revenge – what? no, that wasn’t me, it was my evil twin, Second Last Cat On Mars. Calmer now, pointiness in its place, tuna on the way with Martian Eats: It’s Here or It’s There, or It’s Free.

Two people observing a sculpture called 'The Pointy End' and a cat wondering if it's for tuna kebabs

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Occasional Observations – Gears, and Sherry

Here on Mars there isn’t a lot of call for gears – the dust tends to gum them up, but gear sculptures, now there’s a lovely thing. Also, we like our sundowners, although we tend to have them indoors away from the dust and redness, and things that make us testy, like the temperature (too hot, and too cold, really, for a koala bear, let alone a feline bear). Other than that, cheers, friends, and bottoms up, for Cissy Fwoppingham-Smythe is already breathless for her next flagon.

A woman sitting on her veranda sipping sherry and watching her gear sculptures

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Geometry Sheometry

My old friend, Brigid, simply loves geometry, so she was a sitting duck for the imitation game, wasn’t she? Yes, she was. And what could be lovelier than imitating your own namesake’s symbol? I’ll tell you what could be lovelier – a plate of tuna fancies in the shape of a St Brigid’s Cross, of course. What else? Well, eating them all is what else. Excuse me, I hear some fancies calling.

Brigid imitates the shape of St Brigid's Cross while resting on a sculpture

Last Cat On Mars Presents: A Snapshot – Meditation: It’s All In The Pose

When I meditate, or engage in complex and nuanced yoga poses, I am invariably sleeping. Don’t knock it, it works; also, if you knock it, you’ll wake me up, and I will be cranky. Arguably, dreaming of such things is as effective as doing them, and who are we to say we are dreaming or we are real-ing? Hmmm? Now I must return to my weight-lifting – the 250kg snatch and beef jerky, shall we say?

A group of people try to decide if they're in the right place for lunchtime meditation - they aren't

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Many Interpretations of Modern Sculpture

We are really getting into, and onto, sculpture, here on Mars, and we hope you like it very much. Otherwise, well, like it anyway, there’s nothing to dislike, really, about modern sculpture. After all, who knows anything about it or why it even exists except to make us all feel calm and happy after a long, hard day at the solar-face (which is gradually replacing the coal-face, though you will work no less hardly, harder, hard, like very squashed coal). There are diamonds here somewhere.

Fiona and Walt mistake geometric sculptures for hammocks when they attend the wrong exhibition

Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Help Desk Chronicles – We’re All Out of Helps, but …

You know when you just don’t know what you feel like for lunch? Sometimes you feel like a movie star, sometimes you feel like a baker, or even a truck driver. Ignore those feelings and get into bread, bread with anything on it at all. Okay, not yucky things like – well, I won’t say because I don’t want to insult the gourmands among you who may like those yucky things. Go ahead, buy a baguette and go wild.

The Help Desk clerk advises that they're all out of helps but he has some tasty baguettes with cheese and tuna available.