Tag Archives: grandmother

Last Cat On Mars Presents: Whatever You Say, Say Nothing

I harboured, briefly, ambitions to be a mime, a great mime, like Marcel Marceau, the original and most silent (and possibly, the palest). Alas, I realised that the incredible advantage I possessed in the form of my most expressive, and silent, tail, would render all competition redundant.

And mimes, as you well know, dear, silent readers, are extremely combative types. Nonetheless, in my own quiet way I have continued to practice, and I now dominate the world of meowmes, so the mimes don’t have to worry or even cry out aloud about their misfortune.

Meowmes rule, though, they do.

Nervous mime performing in park for grandmother and child


Last Cat On Mars Presents: The Grandmother’s Dilemma

Yes, grandmothers are the keepers of the flames of jokes ancient and modern. But you knew that all along, didn’t you, dear reader, and furthermore you love your Nana and her tomato relish and mango chutney, her coconut ice and her chocolate fudge, her raspberry cordial and Arno Butter Shortbread bikkies, her lovely cups of tea and damper with Golden Syrup. Oh, what’s that – yes, sorry, on with the show. Love and Mars Bars from Last Cat, xxx

There must be a pony - horses and their manure